Surgeon says she NEVER wants to see me again!

Dr Connor said I am good to go AND hopefully she and I will not meet again. I am a big fan of Dr Connor, but she said my incision looks good, my pathology came back fine, there is no sign of infection, and there is no need to see her again. It really is good news because it means things are back on track for my recovery from chemo and surgery. Her assistant removed my stitches (yes, I had old-fashioned stitches after the second surgery) and my drain tube! She did recommend I see a plastic surgeon to remove my extra skin under my arms. At first, she said I should wait a month before plastic surgery, then she laughed and said I would probably need to wait much longer to let my body heal and to get my energy level back. I said I don't want anything to happen to my body for a year, but we will see what happens. I am feeling much better than I have in a long time - probably since early December. I still need to rest after a day of activity, but things are improving. My feet are bothering me again, but I am attributing that to the Femara drug. My next appointment is with Dr Sharma, my oncologist, in April. Because I was so sick when I saw her in early January, she really didn't make too many plans for me at that time. So, I am sure that she will have a plan for me when we meet in a couple of months.

That's about it for now. I have lots of thoughts running through my head that I want to share, but that will have to wait until I have a little more mental energy to make sense of them. I hope you are having a great day.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Photos of the Week

Since I have not posted in a week, I thought I would start by sharing a few photos of my weekend in Dorrance. We celebrated Sam's baptism on Saturday night. I have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon on Monday and will post an update after that visit.

Enjoy the family photos!

The Godfather and Godmother (Tim and Jody), parents of Sam (Joey and Kelly), Father David and big brother (Garrett) and big sister (Anna)

Kelly and Sam

Matt and his daughter Hallie - she loved playing in the box

My dad enjoyed a visit from Nancy and me - Susan was there too. She took the picture.

Because of the nice weather, Kelly was able to teach Garrett how to ride his bike with one training wheel. That is because his daddy Joey ran over the other training wheel.

Aunt Joan came to Susan's for a visit. We always have fun with her. Can you tell that by the smile on the faces of Susan, Mom and me?

Photo of the Day - my nephew Joey

I took this photo in November before all of the ice and snow arrived. Joey was putting up an electric fence at the Huttie Place.

Recovery is going well

Hello Friends,

As I write this blog entry, I am looking out my bedroom window at falling snow. Is anyone else ready for Spring? My surgery went well on Tuesday, I went in the surgery room around 1:30 and actually left the hospital at 5:30ish. I battled nausea and vomiting until midnight, but I feel much better today. Dr Connor removed my port, fluid under my arm and in the back area, and skin and tissue from the infected site. She also inserted a drain to collect the fluid so that it does NOT accumulate and cause problems. When I had my bilateral mastectomy on October 2, I had four drains and hated them. This time the drain is not bothering me, I think it is because I don’t have much sensitivity in the area. And, this time I did not have body parts removed. Could that have something to do with the pain level being much less this time? Anyway, back to this surgery. Dr Connor sent the skin, tissue, fluid and port to the lab for evaluation and culture to try to identify the bug. I am not expecting any positive news because I have had the fluid cultured in Salina and Manhattan without a positive identification.

I will take a few days to recover, but I do hope to return to class next week. Chris Lydick, a talented teaching assistant, is helping me this semester with class. Chris is a Leadership Studies graduate and has co-taught several of our classes as a graduate student. He will graduate in May with a master’s degree in computer engineering and then start his PhD in the Fall.

Nancy’s sister, Jane, came from Lincoln, Nebraska, to spend a few days with us and pamper her sister. I love having Jane here because she seems to know just how to take care of us. Nancy has been running on empty lately taking care of Frances and me so she deserves lots of TLC. Have I mentioned lately how wonderful Nancy is? Even if I have mentioned it, let me say it again – Nancy is a saint. She has a gentle heart that glows with love, kindness, and generosity. AND, she puts up with me. That tells you the most about her!

Love to all,
Mary Kay

I know I posted a photo of Frances and Nancy a couple of weeks ago, but I felt the need to share another photo of them. Frances is like a second Mom, and Nancy is very, very good to Frances.

Surgery on Tuesday, January 15

My surgery has been moved to Tuesday (instead of Wednesday) because of a cancellation in Dr Connor's schedule. I am delighted that it is a day sooner than originally scheduled because I want the healing to begin. The surgery will probably start around noon or so AND I still hope to go home the same day. Have a great day!

Happy Birthday Shout Out to Candi and Karna

Happy Birthday to my friend and colleague at Leadership Studies - Candi Hironaka. Doesn't she look good in her graduation garb? And doesn't she have a very handsome son in Myles?

Happy Birthday to my friend Karna. The two of us have had a contest to see who could have the most medical issues in one year.

The S Word

A quick update from my visit with my oncologist and surgeon today at KU Med. The day started with a visit with Dr Sharma, my oncologist. She took one look at my red incision site and said I needed to see Dr Connor, the surgeon. Actually, Nancy and I had a good visit with Dr Sharma even though I don't have much to report from her. Most of my day was focused on this crazy infection - imagine that. I had another sonogram - the fourth one since December 28. This time there was no fluid that could be drained. That is when Dr Connor mentioned the S word to me - surgery. So, on next Wednesday, January 16, Dr Connor will take me to surgery at KU Med to 'clean' my infected area, place a drain - yuk, and remove my port. I am the third or fourth surgery of the day for her, so she expects to start around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. If all goes well, I will be able to go home that night. If my condition worsens between now and next Wednesday, Dr Connor will do the surgery as an emergency.

I am not dreading this 'little' surgery because I see it as action to help me feel better. I am still feeling the effects of the bah humbug bug that landed me in the hospital between Christmas Day and New Year's day. My energy level is still low and my body aches. The right breast incision area is still swollen and red, but it is getting a little better. Have I mentioned the havoc that taking lots of antibiotics can have on one's intestinal tract? It is not pleasant. That's all I have to say about that.

Happy Belated Birthday to my friend Grace Hwang

Grace and I have shared a similar experience because we have each been on our own journey with breast cancer. Grace was diagnosed before me (as you can tell by the length of her hair compared to mine) so she has served as my mentor in what to expect during treatment. She also arranged my first doctor's appointment at the Cancer Center at KU Med. Thanks Grace for your guidance during my journey AND Belated Happy Birthday!!

Sad News for one of my friends

Di Hinrichs, one of our dearest friends, lost her dad Monday morning. He died of an apparent heart attack while he and his wife, Maggie, were driving a load of cattle to the sale barn. Warren loved farming and he was able to do it until his very last minute of life. Anyway, I just wanted to send Di, Jackie, and Jeremy a little love and care this week as they are spending time with Di's mother, Maggie, near Hartford, Kansas. The link to Warren Hinrichs obituary: http://www.emporiagazette.com/obits/2008/jan/08/hinrichs/

Doctors and Antibiotics

This lingering infection has really been my first complication from treatment for breast cancer. I made it through chemotherapy on schedule and I was healthy enough to have a bilateral mastectomy just two and a half weeks after my last chemotherapy treatment. Don’t get me wrong – chemotherapy is tough and it takes a toll on one’s body. But, I did not have any major side effects that many chemotherapy patients have. I seemed to get better after surgery and gain a little strength, but I hit a wall in mid-November. I didn’t feel well during December, but I attributed it to the ‘anti estrogen’ drug Femara that I started on November 1st. The side effects vary from person to person, so I thought that was what was making me feel tired and blah. It wasn’t as if I was sick, I just didn’t feel well. Everything was going ok until Christmas day when an infection in my right breast (or at least where my breast used to be) and underarm area knocked me off my feet AND I missed Christmas with the family. I ended up in the Salina hospital for a week on IV antibiotics. I also had the seroma drained twice while there. Since I left the hospital on New Year’s Day, I have still battled this pesky infection. I met with my local doctor on Monday and she sent me to the Manhattan hospital (not admitted) to have the seroma drained again. This time the doctor could only drain 50 cc’s of fluid compared to 300 and 240 cc’s while I was in Salina. I am on my fifth antibiotic since Christmas Day – IV Rocephin and Vancomycin in the hospital, and Keflex, Augmentin and Levaquin at home. I am ready for an end to this infection!

I will meet with my oncologist and surgeon on Thursday at KU Med. Hopefully, they will have an answer to the bug that seems to have taken up residence in my body. I am hoping this infection is what was making me feel yucky for the past several weeks. My hope is that I will defeat this infection very soon and feel like a new woman! I really want to move on with my life. I want to return to the classroom and feel like the old Mary Kay. Will that ever happen? I am not sure I can go back to the old Mary Kay because of what I’ve been through. We learn from our life experiences, we don’t stay the same. I probably have thought more about my life in the past eight months than I have in the past eight years. Did I learn anything? I am not sure about that, but my perspective has certainly changed. So, what am I trying to say? Two things: I want to feel better so that I can live life with my new perspective.

I want to give a special ‘shout out’ to my sister Debbie who gave up her Christmas Day festivities to be with Nancy and me at the Russell Hospital and the Salina Hospital. She is the one who rolled her eyes when the first ER doctor said I had the crud that everyone else had or that I had a bladder infection. I wish you could have seen her facial expression each time he tried to push one of those diagnoses on us. Anyway, Debbie arranged to have me admitted to the Salina hospital. The person who did the paperwork in admitting at the Salina hospital asked me if I had connections here, I just said yes. I was too sick to explain about Debbie. According to Debbie, I did save her about 5,000 calories on Christmas Day by spending the day in the hospital. She is sure she would have grazed all day on the good food at Susan’s house.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Happy Birthday to my brother and my niece

Aren't Alicia and Rebecca adorable? Yes, they get their good looks from their Aunt Mary Kay. Happy Birthday Alicia.

Happy birthday Bill - seen here with sister Debbie. Bill is the proud parent of Alicia (the birthday girl), Rebecca, and Adam.

Happy 92nd Birthday to Frances

Frances Van Scoyoc is Nancy's 'second mom' and they have been friends for over 35 years. Frances is still living in her home with her two indoor cats and who knows how many outdoor cats. Frances spends lots of time with her 95 year old sister, Christabelle, who is recovering at St Joseph's care facility in Manhattan after a broken hip and surgery. Happy Birthday Frances!

Special Anniversary Today

I titled this entry ‘Special Anniversary Today’ because this is the day that I have been thinking about a very special person who is no longer with us. Today is the two-year anniversary of the death of my brother-in-law Joe Thielen. Now, there is nothing special in the fact that Joe has been gone for two years, but there is something special about celebrating his LIFE. That is what I have focused on today – his life rather than his death. I spent a great deal of time with Joe during his marriage to my sister Susan. He was so good to me and was really more like a brother than a brother-in-law. It is my intention to celebrate Joe’s life by living my own life in the most robust and rewarding way that I can.

The following is a speech I gave at Joe’s Vigil service and has a few of my favorite Joe stories. Please enjoy this as a celebration of Joe’s life and I hope it will spark a few of your own favorite Joe memories.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

One of my first recollections of Joe came from the Dorrance Memorial Day Parade when I was a young girl of 9 or 10 years old, Joe gave me a ride on his beloved horse Red. I remember that Joe told me Red’s birthday was the same day as mine: July 17, 1960. I am not sure if that was really Red’s actual birthdate, I think Joe may have told me that to make me feel good and to make a connection with me. You know, now that I think about it, I shouldn’t have doubted Joe about Red’s birthdate because in the 40 plus years that I have known him; I have never known Joe to be anything but 100% honest. Maybe the story of Red’s birthday being on the same day as mine had more to do with getting in good with my sister Susan than anything else. What ever the reason, I am so glad that Joe married Susan, he has been a great brother-in-law.

My sister Debbie told her favorite Joe and Susan courtship story: In the summer of 1971, Susan made Debbie and Bill stand in our backyard on the north edge of Dorrance and watch for certain tail lights going north out of Dorrance. You see, Joe’s yellow Ford had distinctive tail lights; they were different than any other cars in the area. So Susan recruited Debbie and Bill to stand outside to watch for the tail lights of Joe’s car so that she could know when he went home. What we didn’t do to get Joe Thielen to be our brother-in-law!!!

Of course the most famous of all Joe and Susan stories is the FISH story: during Joe and Susan’s courtship, they woke my Mom and Dad, Bill, Debbie, and me at about 1:30 in the morning to show us the big fish that they had caught. You know Susan, I just realized: what were you doing fishing at 1:30 in the morning? So anyway, we all went outside to see the big fish. Joe was so proud as he told us about the champion bass they had just caught. As Joe opened the tail gate, his proud expression changed to disbelief when there was no big fish at all. There were only a few small fish barely big enough to keep. You should have seen Joe try to explain his way out of that one. The rest of the story is that the next day Joe and his nephew Mike and niece Sherry found the ‘big’ fish in the driveway to the Huttie Place pond – it had some how fallen out of the back of the pickup when they hit a bump in the road. We never let Joe forget that story.

There have been so many good times and laughs with Joe throughout the years. There have also been so many lessons about life that I have learned from Joe. I feel so fortunate that I was able to spend time with him during his illness. Even when he was struggling to beat cancer, he was so gracious and kind and respectful of people. We spent many hours traveling to and from treatment and sitting in their house watching the Food Channel – yes the Food channel had become Joe’s favorite. If fact, he would see something on one of the programs and he would ask me to make it. Now, I know those of you who know my cooking abilities are having a great laugh with that one. But Joe always complimented me on whatever I made. In addition to watching the food channel, Joe was constantly on the cell phone wheelin and dealin. It was hard work spending time with Joe and it was NOT because of what needed to be done because of his illness. It was because he always had us assisting him in the many projects he had going from cleaning the office and to transplanting trees to laying out a lawn sprinkling system. We would always have a good laugh about the surprises Susan would see when she turned in the driveway each day after school. I think Joe took great pleasure in surprising Susan. But Joe also took great pleasure in loving Susan. It was so sweet when he would have me stop at one of the flower shops on the way home from a treatment to get Susan a bouquet of flowers. One of most meaningful lessons I learned from Joe was to keep doing what you love to do even when life deals unfortunate circumstances.


In between the Food channel and working on projects, Joe loved to talk about his sons and how proud he was of them. Joe would look out the window and see Kevin doing something on the farm and I would see this proud smile spread across his face. He spent many hours just watching Kevin with the expression that you only see on the proudest of all fathers. I can’t tell you how many times I heard Joe talking on the phone with a business acquaintance about how Kevin was taking care of the day to day activities of the farm and how happy Joe was about that.

Joe loved to see Joey as a father. I think Joe was determined to live to spend time with his new grand-daughter Anna. He was adamant – even when he was very sick – to make the trip to the Manhattan Hospital to see her. Anna and Garrett brought such joy to Joe. One day Joey disciplined Garrett and sat him on the sofa in the living room in a ‘timeout’. When Joey returned to the room where Joe was sitting, with a smirk on his face, Joe asked Joey “How’s that timeout bolonie working?” Of course Joe didn’t really use the word bolonie. I know Joe loved to see Joey as a father to Garrett and Anna.

We laugh at the time that Joe spent on the cell phone, but I can guarantee you that most of it was on the phone with his sons. I can’t tell you how many times I heard him call Matt to find out if he would smoke or grill a pork loin for dinner. I know it made Joe laugh when Matt walked in the door a few weeks ago with a pork loin that was so big he was carrying it on his shoulder like a feed sack. Joe loved to have Matt analyze numbers and data for the farm – Matt that was another one of those projects – entering data for the farm. But I know how much Joe valued Matt’s knowledge about finances.

I have been asking family members at the farm this week to share a word or phrase that comes to mind when describing Joe. In closing I would like to share some of those words: gentle, father, uniter, family oriented, hard-working, innovative, visionary, intelligent, integrity, champion to his sons, caring, gracious host, list maker, planner, on the cell phone all the time, husband, communicator, leader, do one more thing, thump on the head for the boys, and list maker.

Photos of the Day

Natalie, what are you thinking about your great-aunt Mary Kay?

What did Nancy and Susan make as their New Year's Resolution? They might just quit their jobs, move to Vegas, and play poker for a living.

Happy New Year from Manhattan

Yes, I am home and it feels GREAT! Nancy and I returned home this afternoon after we picked up Kramer and Pearl. Thanks Sharon for transporting the dogs to Salina so that we could go home with the whole family. Pearl is my sister Susan's dog, but she is spending a few days/weeks/ months/years with us. We'll see how things go with Pearl. She has lived her life on the farm, so I am not sure you can take the country out of the dog. She looks just like Kramer, well almost. Pearl is built like a wide receiver and Kramer is built like a fullback. You get the idea.

Susan, Nancy, and I celebrated the end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008 last night in the hospital by playing poker. Now for those of you who know Susan and Nancy, you know that they did not risk too much even though it was play money. We had a great time even though we did not make it to midnight. Deb and Greg brought Natalie for a visit earlier in the evening so I had an entertaining hour while she was there. Natalie loves to talk on my cell phone so, of course, I let her do that. If you received a call from me last night, please know that it was probably Natalie.

Thanks to all for your care and support. I am hoping that 2008 will be a little less eventful for me than 2007. But, you never know what will happen. Debbie gave me a plate with the following saying: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." Anyone want to dance?

Happy New Year,
Mary Kay