I am nervous about tomorrow and chemotherapy. It has been on my mind all day because I am fearful of the side-effects of the treatment. OK, enough of that. I am ready to start treatment!! Let's get this show on the road. I will have a support team with me tomorrow - in addition to Nancy, my sisters Susan and Deb and my niece Jody will be there with me. I am sure we will have a few laughs.
The good part about tomorrow, June 5, is that it is my nephew Matt Thielen's birthday. Matt is the one who had the crazy idea to go fishing at 5:30 am on Memorial Day. Did I mention that we actually caught fish that morning? I will leave it up to your imagination as to who caught the biggest fish. (Hint - as Nancy reeled in her first fish, she said something about having a whale on the line.) Anyway, Happy Birthday Matt!! He already told me that it is a good sign that my first treatment corresponds with his birthday. I hope you are right Matt.
Mary Kay
Cancer has made me evaluate my life and ask the question - am I living the life I want to live? If I knew that my days were numbered, would I change anything? Nancy and I talked about that very question the day my biopsy came back as cancer. I thought about it and decided that, yes, I am living the life I want to live. There isn't too much I would change about how I live my life. I don't want to have regrets and wish that I would have lived differently. Now, don't get me wrong about the little things - I do wish I had more of some things, but I am content at my core. Right now LOVING and LAUGHING seem to be what my life is about. It is what I crave. Maybe loving and laughing give me the inner comfort and strength to face cancer.
The past two weekends have given me lots of loving and laughing. Last weekend, I spent time with family and friends in Dorrance and had a blast. I went fishing (at 5:30 am), walked in the Memorial Day parade, ate lots of homemade ice cream (thanks Mom), sat on Susan's porch in the swing, endured the constant teasing of family and friends, refused to help with dishes (because I have cancer), and ate lots of smoked ribs and brisket. Needless to say, it was a wonderful time. Some family members gave me a basket of goodies to help me get through this cancer thing. Some of the items in the basket included: bag of Oreos, a bag (not a purse) to carry my things in, gift card to DQ, Sudoku book, picture frame, Courage figurine from Willow Tree, Ipod, quilted do-dad that says Family that was signed by all, a basket, coke, and sunflower seeds. It doesn't get any better than that!! Thanks family - you really know how to please me. I love you all. I just had to share how important that weekend was for me. I came back to Manhattan rejuvenated and ready to face the week.
Back to the present - tonight's Kick Cancer's Ass party was important for that loving and laughing reason, too. I wanted to spend time with friends and family and LAUGH prior to my first chemotherapy treatment on Tuesday. Thanks friends - we laughed!! I want to continue to have parties because that is one thing that I said I wanted more of. No regrets, so let's have more parties.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who have made the last two weekends so meaningful to me.
Love to all,
Mary Kay
The first Kick Cancer's Ass party will be held Sunday, June 3, from 5:00 to 7:00 pm at our house at 1731 Kings Road, Manhattan. We will provide hamburgers, chips, and baked beans. If you want more than that, please bring it.... I am not sure what we will do at this party, please bring your idea on kicking cancer's ass!!
Mary Kay
Lots of news to share... So far, so good on the news front. My tests indicate that my cancer is only in my left breast!! Yeah. It is somewhat odd to say that I have good news - I only have cancer in one spot. Yes, it is good news, but it really sent me on another emotional roller coaster. I am appreciative of the fact that right now I only have the breast issue to overcome, however, I feel a little guilty that so many other cancer patients don't have the same good news. As Nancy and I were receiving the good news for me, a young woman (who had obviously been through a great deal of treatment and looked sick and worn out) was sitting in the same area. I could not help but to temper my celebration as I thought of her. On the drive home, I had a difficult time sharing the news - I had the 'why me' syndrome. Why did I only have cancer in one spot when others, like my brother-in-law Joe, had to hear the news over and over about cancer lesions in other parts of their bodies. Maybe that news will be part of my life at some point, but right now I am feeling guilty and asking 'why me' as to only having cancer in my breast. This is truly a journey I am experiencing and I know the emotions will range from one extreme to the next. As I stated in the blog title and description at the top of the page, this is a place for me to update and share information with you, but also to share my feelings and thoughts about this journey as well.
Right now I am planning on staring chemotherapy at KU Med on Tuesday, June 5 - that happens to be my nephew Matt Thielen's birthday. The plan is to take Adriamycin and Cytoxan (once every two weeks for four treatments/eight weeks) and then another four treatments of Taxol for eight weeks. Tuesday will be my treatment day for the next four months. That will be followed by surgery, then radiation, and then anti-hormone treatments for five years. Hopefully, I will follow that routine and be done with cancer forever!!
My experience at KU Med has been great. All of the nurses, doctors, and technicians have gone above the normal call of duty to make things go as smooth as possible for me. One nurse, in particular, deserves a special shout-out. Ruth, the surgeon's clinic nurse, sat and talked with us for 45 minutes as we waited on Dr Conner, the breast surgeon, to return from surgery. I actually learned more about my specific type of cancer in that visit than I learned from the doctors. She went over the pathology reports and explained the results. I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma; some of the characteristics are: grade 3 (which is very fast growing), ER+ (estrogen sensitive), and Her2 negative (I am not a candidate for Herceptin). Of course, there are other pieces of information, but that is about all I can remember right now. Anyway, later in the afternoon, Ruth actually searched the hospital to find Nancy and me to take us to the MRI early AND then she made the effort (in the MRI department) to find the results of all of my tests!!
It has now been 22 days since I first found the lump. I am ready to get the show started!! CANCER - you are going to get a great big punch in the face from me.
Love to all,
Mary Kay
