An Update

Friends,
It has been a long time since I have written on my blog. Yes, I have posted photos, but I have not felt the motivation to write. After an icy weekend of staying in the house and taking care of loose ends (some since May), I am finally motivated to write.

Update on my health - I am doing FINE! As you know, I finished chemotherapy on September 13 and had a bilateral mastectomy on October 2. Most of my range of motion has returned in my arms. I do have a little tightness in my chest, but nothing that causes me too much concern. I am not ready to lift heavy items, I will give my body a little more time to heal before I do that. Most of the lymph fluid that accumulated under my arms and in my chest area has reabsorbed. The only side effect of chemotherapy and surgery that is interfering with daily life is fatigue. My energy has improved since surgery, but it is taking a little longer than I had hoped it would take.

I started the third phase of treatment on November 1. Femara is an aromatase inhibitor that I will take daily for five years if all goes well. An aromatase inhibitor interferes with the conversion of androgen to estrogen. My tumor was estrogen positive, it used estrogen as a growth signal. So the idea is to reduce or eliminate estrogen in my body so that it is not available to enable cancer growth. I have not noticed any significant side effects from Femara (knock on wood). Ok, so maybe there is a little fatigue and some sore joints, but it is not interfering in my daily life.

My next appointment with Dr Sharma is January 9. I do have a bone density test scheduled for that visit. Femara can cause a decrease in bone density, so I will have this test as a baseline for future measurements. I will see Dr Conner (the surgeon) in April for a follow-up appointment and to talk about cosmetic surgery for my extra 'side' skin under my arms.

Many people have asked me if I have any tests (pet or ct scan) scheduled to check for cancer. The answer is no, none are scheduled at this point in time and I don't know when those might be scheduled. And I have not been thinking about those tests. I am at a point in my journey that I want to enjoy my current status and not have to deal with the anxiety that goes with waiting for results.

That is about it for an update on my physical body, now for the mental, emotional, and spiritual self. Cancer has NOT consumed my mind since the first part of November. Prior to that, I thought about it frequently because my body was 'feeling' it every moment. Of course, the 'feeling it' was from the chemotherapy and surgery. Every time I moved, looked in the mirror, or talked with someone, it was always about my health and cancer. Now that I feel better and I am 'out and about' more often, I don't think of cancer as much. You don't know how much better it feels to NOT think about cancer and my body several times a day.

It overwhelms me to think about the last seven months and all that has happened. I am aware of the toll this cancer journey has taken on my body, but I am still learning about the toll it is taking on other parts of my life. It is probably naive to think that my emotional self and mental self have not been scarred by this cancer journey just like my body has been scarred from the journey. I know I am gaining small bits of information about my emotional wounds each day. Now, don't let these words worry you, I am just being honest about my journey.

The thinking that I have done since May 11 (the day I found the lump) has given me a different perspective on my life. I have a better vision of what I want from life. I do not think it is a new vision, it is just more clear to me now. I almost feel as though I am leaving a little of the pre-cancer Mary Kay behind me. I don't see myself as new and improved, I just see myself with a different perspective on what I want to do with my life. I want to spend more time with the people that I love!! Wait a minute, that isn't anything different from the pre-cancer Mary Kay. Some things never change!!

Love to all,
Mary Kay