Photo of the Day - Some of my colleagues at Leadership Studies

I want to give a special shout out to my colleagues at Leadership Studies during this first week of classes. This photo includes most of my colleagues, but not all. (You can click on the photo and it should open in a larger view in another window.) They are a special group of professionals who are passionate about their work with K-State students. Yes, it is an emotional letdown for me that I am not able to be a part of something so special.

My recovery from the second treatment of Taxol is going much slower than I had anticipated. I had hoped to be able to go to work (all day) this week. That has not happened. I tried to go on Wednesday, but ended up at home after lunch. I just did not have the energy to stay at the office and be productive. The heat has also contributed to my sluggish energy level. I walked a little bit in the heat yesterday on campus and it zapped the energy from me. I am hoping that the cooler temperatures this weekend will help with my energy level. Needless to say, I am extremely disappointed that I am still needing to rest at home one week after chemo. The doctor did remind me that the chemo effects are cumulative and that each treatment will be more difficult on my body.

One of the challenges of writing this blog is that it provides me an opportunity not only to reflect on what I am experiencing but also WHY I am feeling these emotions. It makes me think 'in depth' about these experiences and forces me to try to make sense of them. I know that at times in my life I have been too busy 'living life on a daily basis' to reflect on what was happening AND my reaction to it. This blog has allowed me to explore some of those emotions and to make sense of them. Of course, cancer has provided me with challenges that I have never had before in my life and I am trying to figure out how to navigate through these uncharted waters. The fact that my physical recovery from this most recent chemo treatment has been so slow has dampened my emotional state and my ability to find the strength to stay positive. As I stated in my last post, I never thought the side effects from my second Taxol treatment would still be with me a week later.

The question is - where and how do I find the inspiration to this recent challenge? One way is that I get inspired by people who have made it through this. There are so many people who have battled cancer and other life-threatening diseases and won. I find strength in their stories and a certain camaraderie in knowing that we share a common bond. I hope that someday I can be an inspiration for others who are staging their own battle with cancer.

Love to all,
Mary Kay