Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Fog Has Lifted

Thank goodness for a clear mind again!! I feel as if I am back among the living now that my brain and my body are together. The fog lifted Saturday evening after a massage/energy session from Barbara. I hope the brain fog is not going to be a part of my life after each chemotherapy treatment. If it is, it will make these chemo treatments very difficult to endure. "Nobody said it was going to be easy." Somehow that saying popped into my mind - beating cancer is not going to be easy.

The difficulty of this first week of chemotherapy has prompted lots of second guessing on my part. Am I choosing the right treatment protocol? Should I have surgery first? Should I even take chemotherapy? I just looked at the top of the page and saw the title of my blog - Mary Kay's Cancer Journey. This is a journey of unknowns - I know the starting point and the hopeful ending - (I want to be cancer free at the end of treatment and stay that way forever.) But, I don't know the exact path to get cancer free. I am trusting health care professionals to make the right decisions for me. I trust the doctors to make the right diagnosis and treatment, and I trust the nurses and technicians to give me the right chemotherapy combinations. There is a voice in the back of my mind that wants to say to them - is this how you would treat yourself? Or, treat me like I am your mother. I want to say to them -THIS IS MY LIFE, please do your best today!!!

Thanks for being on this journey with me.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear MK,
Thanks for the shout out, there are plenty of people on the FOMK Meals on Wheels, all a testimony to your positive impact on many people's lives! The two chemos you are having are some of the most powerful - the Adriamycin helps to keep all other chemo in the cells, to destroy the cancer in the cells, and the Cytoxen works to destroy the cancer cells. (This was explained to me by biology prof Ruth Welti.) Hopefully Dr. Sharma can mitigate the side effects better next time! Hang in there! Love, G. PS Chemo Brain can be a useful excuse not to do unpleasant things...like weeding or dishes...