More photos from the party and a belated birthday wish

Happy Birthday to Todd - a couple of days late.
I forgot to post a happy birthday shout out to Todd on Wednesday,
but better late than never!

Natalie loves her Grandpa!!
And, I think Greg just might think his granddaughter is
the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

Aren't we a happy looking group?
Farrell, Todd, and Dana always brighten my days
whenever I see them.

I want to especially thank my Uncle Ken and Aunt LaVern
for making the trip from Wilson, Kansas, to help celebrate.

Jackie, I know the 'Thielen Beef' burgers were good,
but you could have left a few for the rest of us.

Aren't these smiles beautiful?
I think Marcelo, Gabriela, and Rebecca could make anyone feel good.

Candi and Aubrey caught-up on old times at Leadership Studies. Aubrey now lives in Hutchinson, but she was once the 'star' at Leadership Studies.

Photos from the party!

Gayle is all business as she shoots for the 'cups' as Mary, Grace and Jackie watch.

Natalie won one of the 'door prizes' - a head band with a pink ribbon on it. I think she had a little help from her Aunt Jody.


Grace, looking like a movie star, wore an all pink outfit to honor breast cancer patients.

Jackie and Di deserve a big 'shout out' for cooking Thielen Beef hamburgers. Thanks ladies, the burgers were delicious.

Mary, what were you thinking?

The Russell County contingency - Debbie, Natalie, Susan, Colleen, and Todd. Wait a minute - Debbie you haven't lived in Russell County since ????. Natalie is an honorary Russell Countian since her great-grandparents and great-aunt Susan and lots of cousins live there.

My speech from the Ta Ta to the Ta Ta's party

'Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance.' My sisters, Debbie and Susan, gave me a wall hanging with this saying on it. This message is just what I had in mind for the Ta Ta to the Ta Ta's party. Thanks sisters for understanding me and giving me just what I needed - isn't it amazing how they have a way of doing that.

I am posting the little speech I gave at the party on Sunday. Of course, this is not exactly how the words came out - I embellished and spoke from the heart at the party, but this how I wrote the words on paper.

Love, Laughter, and Living
A couple of days ago I showed my nephew Kevin Thielen the invitation to this party and he said “A few years ago the idea of this party would have bothered me and embarrassed me, but not any more.” Well, Kevin, a few months ago I would have never dreamed that I would be at MY OWN TaTa to the Ta Ta’s party. But, here we are today at a party that on the surface seems to be about saying goodbye to my breasts. The truth is that this party is not about my breasts – this party is about looking squarely at cancer and saying I will not let you take the LOVE and LAUGHTER out of my LIFE. So, my friends, I say this party is about the three L’s - Love, Laughter and Living.

Loving – Wow, I don’t know if there could have ever been a stronger way for me to learn how much I am loved than to get cancer. I can’t tell you how many life lessons cancer has taught me, but the most important is about LOVE. The love and support that I have received during my cancer journey has been overwhelming at times and it certainly has given me extra motivation to fight this disease when my spirits have been low. I want to give a special ‘shout out’ to all of you who are serving as a cancer patient’s ‘support team’ or care giver. I know there are several of us here right now who are giving their loved ones the needed support and love to make it through treatment. To you I say thank you.

Laughter – I don’t think I need to say too much about laughter, after all I am having a TaTa to the TaTa’s party. It is my way to say to cancer Ha Ha or Na Na na na na. You can take my breasts, but I am going to have fun while you do it. I come from a family and a work group who celebrates everything so having a party really isn’t too unusual for either group – it is just the reason that is a little unusual. I am not really bothered by losing my breasts – I am sure there must be a few advantages to it just like there have been a few advantages to losing my hair. I saved money on things like shampoo and conditioner, I saved time getting ready in the morning, and I certainly have learned a lot about myself. To the ladies in this room, if you want to expose a little of your soul and learn something about yourself, just shave your head and go to the Mall – by yourself. I guarantee you that all of your insecurities will be exposed. So, what might be the advantages to not having breasts? My golf swing will improve without these in the way!!

Living – I am not talking about living as in a long life span. I am talking about actually LIVING with a capital L. LIVING a succulent and meaningful life while battling this disease. I think my brother-in-law Joe was such a great example of how to LIVE with a capital L. I want to share a story with you that inspires me each time I think about it. It was a couple of days after Christmas in 2005 and my sister Susan and I were taking Joe to the doctor. I can still remember driving out of the driveway of their farm that winter day and I knew it would be the last time for Joe because the disease had wrecked havoc on his body. In my heart I knew he would not be coming home again because he was so sick. He probably knew it, too. Anyway at the doctor’s office, the physician’s assistant told Joe that he needed to be in the hospital. I can still remember the look on his face when she said that –he looked at her as if he was a little shocked and offended and he said he just had too much to do to be in the hospital. It was at that moment that I learned a lesson about LIVING from a man who was just a couple of days away from dying. He refused to let cancer win, he was still living his life. It was also at that moment that I understood the meaning of the quote from Jim Valvano the former basketball coach from North Carolina State and the namesake of the Jimmy V Foundation. Jim Valvano said “Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul.” Even when Joe was hours away from his death, he did not let cancer take his soul.

That is what this party is about. Cancer can take my breasts, but just like Joe Thielen and Jim Valvano, it can not take my spirit and I don’t want it to take the spirit of anyone else here today. Thank you for being here to help me LOVE and to LAUGH, and to LIVE with a capital L.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Photo of the Day - I'm a Dr, I can do my own surgery!

The Ta Ta to the Ta Ta's party was a fabulous experience for me. Thanks to all who made it such a fun and special evening. This is the first of many photos that I will post to share the 'ambiance' from the party.

I want to send a special 'shout out' to Ben Hopper for planning the party - he is the one responsible for the invitation, cake, games, and party favors. As you can see by this photo of Ben and Mary, we had plenty of food (and wine) for the pink-themed party.

Update on Barbara - she was released from the hospital on Thursday and is doing quite well. Barbara is staying with us as she recovers from her surgery. She was able to enjoy the party and Susan Allen was able to enjoy a little of Barbara's touch!

Photo of the Day - Celebrating Susan's birthday

We celebrated Susan's birthday by gathering at the Bunker Hill Cafe for fun and food. I surprised Susan by making the trip from Manhattan to Dorrance and Bunker Hill. It was well worth the trip to spend time with family and to celebrate my sister's special day.

Susan (the birthday girl), Aunt Joan, Anna, me, Mom, and Debbie

My cousin Blaine (from Castle Rock, Colo.), Mom, Joey, Debbie, and Kevin

Happy Birthday to my sister Susan Thielen

Thursday, September 20, is a very special day for my family because it is the birthday of my sister, Susan. I know Susan does not want me to make a big deal of her birthday on my blog, but I have not listened to her up to this point in my life so why start now. This photo is of 'grandma' Susan because she is shown with her grandchildren Anna, Hallie, and Garrett.

Susan is a wonderful sister to me and has ALWAYS been there for me whenever I have needed her. I know that many other people would agree that Susan has been a strong supporter for them as well. There are not enough words for me to adequately describe the impact Susan has had on my life. All I can say is that I love her dearly and am thankful that she is my sister. We all need role models in our lives to teach us some of life's difficult lessons as well as some not-so-difficult ones as well. Susan has certainly taught me how to handle life's challenges with courage and grace as well as a tenacious spirit of never giving up. I wrote about Susan in my July 1 blog, I suggest that you check out that entry to learn more about her. Just go to the bottom of the page and click on the 'older posts' button.

I hope to see you at the party on Sunday!

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Photo of the Day - my grand niece Anna and my sister Debbie

I hope I have turned the corner on recovering from the side effects of my last chemotherapy treatment. Today – Tuesday – was much better than the last two days have been. I was able to keep food down today and I have a little more energy as well. My walk around the neighborhood (actually ½ the regular walk) with Kramer resulted in a few muscle cramps in my calves and some funkiness in my feet. One of the side effects of Taxol can be neuropathy in the hands and feet. My hands definitely feel fine (as proven by my ability to type these entries), but my feet do feel a little unusual. I would not classify it as numbness, but it is certainly a different feeling than I have experienced to this point in treatment. Have I said how happy I am that I do not have to take another treatment in two weeks?

Now on to others – Barbara continues to improve from her surgery last Friday and she MIGHT get out of the hospital on Wednesday. She will probably stay with Nancy and me for a few days since she still has a long way to go in her recovery. We have lots of extra room and would love to have her here for a while. AND why not have two sick people in the house at the same time. Actually, I plan on taking care of Barbara because she has done so much for me during my chemotherapy treatments.

My special ‘shout out’ of the day goes to all who are dealing with their own illness or the illness of a family member or friend. It seems like everyone I talk to has someone who is or has been in the hospital in the last few days. I hope we can get all of this behind us and move to good health!! Anyway, please know that I am thinking of all who are dealing with health issues right now.

I end this entry with the reminder about the Ta Ta to the Ta Ta’s party on Sunday, September 23, at 5:00 pm at our house. I will post more information in the next day or two.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Photo of the Day - my grand nephew Garrett and my brother-in-law Greg

Garrett and Greg decided they would hide in the back part of my car so they could go home with Nancy and me. They tried to act like they were sleeping, but both of them smiled within a few seconds of taking this picture. Garrett told me Uncle Greg is a lot of fun!! I think Garrett can get Greg to do almost anything. Anyway, this was the surprise in the back of my car when Nancy and I were leaving Dorrance after we moved Mom into her new apartment.

Photo of the Day - the three Siefers sisters and our Mom

Mostly about Barbara

Barbara Satchell, Nancy's sister, had surgery on Friday evening to repair her perforated bowel. She felt much better until Sunday afternoon when the epidural accidentally came out when she was moving from a recliner to the bed. Barbara was in a great deal of pain Sunday evening as the nurses tried to get her pain under control. She seems to be doing ok other than the pain issue. Barbara's daughter, Kristy, came Saturday afternoon from Detroit to be with her mother during this ordeal. It has been very nice for Barbara and Nancy and me to have Kristy here. I suspect that Barbara will be in the hospital until Friday.

It has been a tough few days on Nancy not only because of Barbara's ordeal but also my health after my last chemotherapy treatment on Thursday. Nancy has had a double whammy in that she is taking care of her sister, Barbara, and me. Please send Nancy any extra energy that you might have!!

I was feeling fine on Friday (I was at the hospital until 10 pm with Barbara and Nancy), but the muscle and joint pain and fatigue set in at noon on Saturday. I hit a wall at that time and have been in bed since then with lots of pain. On Sunday I vomited for the first time in this whole chemotherapy ordeal. I am not on an anti-nausea medication with the Taxol treatments, but I do think my issues are more from a messed up digestive system because of the cumulative effects of the chemotherapy. I have had a chemo treatment every two weeks since June 5, so I think my digestive tract (and the rest of my body) takes a little more time each treatment to recover. I hope to feel better in a couple of days, but thank goodness for my ipod, computer, and TV. As I am writing this on Monday morning, I am listening to classical music on my ipod. I want to give a special 'shout out' to my nieces and nephews for giving me the ipod when this journey started. It has given me the opportunity to re-connect with a variety of musical genres such as classical, gospel, classic country and rock, and lots of Elvis! In fact, right now I am listening to Pavarotti sing Nessun dorma.

The Ta Ta to the Ta Ta's party is this Sunday, September 23, at 5 pm at our house in Manhattan. The address is 1731 Kings Road. I will try to post the awesome invitation made by my friend Ben Hopper. Anyway, mark your calendar for the party to honor those affected by cancer AND, of course, to have a little fun on a Sunday evening!

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Busy day on Friday

You have heard me talk about the best massage therapist in the world - of course, that is Nancy's sister Barbara Satchell. Well, today, Barbara had surgery to repair a perforated bowel caused by diverticulitis. Barbara had been sick all week and finally agreed to let us take her to the hospital today. After a few tests, the doctors immediately sent Barbara to surgery to repair her bowel. She came through the two hour surgery just fine and seems to be enjoying the morphine!! The doctor indicated Barbara will probably be in the hospital for 6-7 days because of the serious infection from the perforated bowel. If you want to send Barbara a note, the address is: Mercy Regional Health Center, 1823 College Ave. Manhattan, Kansas, 665o2. She is in ICU right now so I don't know a specific room, but I am sure it will get to her without a room number.

This is a photo of the Fager sisters - Nancy Bolsen, Barbara Satchell, and Jane Bieber. Of course, you know how wonderful Nancy is, but I am telling you now that Barbara and Jane are just as wonderful as Nancy. Barbara has been so good to me during my chemotherapy by giving me massages and energy work whenever I ask for it. She even went to so far as to set up her extra massage table in our bedroom. It doesn't get much better than that!! Jane is a Husker fan from Lincoln, Nebraska. Jane stayed with me after my early treatments with the Red Devil chemo drugs. She fixed meals for Nancy and me and generally took care of things around the house. As you can see, the three Fager sisters mean the world to me because they have given so much to me. There are actually four Fager sisters - their older sister Becky lives in Cut Bank, Montana, but she doesn't get to this area too much.

My special 'shout out' goes to the best massage therapist in the world for a quick recovery. Barbara is an amazing person and very tough so I am confident that she will fight through the infection and surgery and be good as gold in a few weeks.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Photo of the Day - Happy Anniversary to Lori and Matt, they are the parents of the delightful Hallie Jo Thielen

Tears, Taxol, and Ta Ta's

Today went well. My lab counts are ok – I do have to take the Neulasta shot on Friday to make sure I stay strong for the surgery. Of course, that shot will make the bone and joint pain a little more intense from the Taxol. I would expect the pain to start Saturday morning if things progress as they have the first three treatments of Taxol. My visit with Dr. Sharma was awesome as she was extremely pleased with the response from the chemo portion of my treatment plan. During the physical exam, she stated that she did not think she was feeling cancer cells, but maybe she could feel scar tissue or dead cells. Anyway, we had a great visit; she gave me a hug at the end of the appointment!! My next meeting with Dr. Sharma is two weeks after the surgery. At that time, I will start the aromatase inhibitor medication that will block estrogen from feeding any remaining cancer cells. My cancer is estrogen and progesterone positive and Her negative. The protocol is to take the medicine for five years if everything goes well. Dr. Sharma said the treatment plan could change in that time if more effective medicine becomes available. I will see Dr. Sharma every three months for two years and then every six months after that. She already scheduled a bone density test for me because bone loss is one of the side effects of the aromatase inhibitor medicine. She is waiting to order other tests (such as ct scans, bone scans, etc.) until we find the lymph node status after surgery. I feel very comfortable about the medical care I am receiving from Dr. Sharma. She is a smart, caring, and warmly spirited woman and I highly recommend her if anyone needs her services.

I had a bit of an emotional release after my appointment with Dr. Sharma – the tears flowed for a few minutes as I thought about things. My emotions were related to how fortunate I felt at the moment to have received such good news. I had Nancy with me and many family and friends had called me to say they were thinking of me today. I just felt overwhelmed with love at that moment as my throat tightened and the tears swelled in my eyes.

After that episode, I made my way to the treatment center where I took the last of eight chemotherapy treatments!!! I did sleep for a couple of hours during treatment, but I was awake for the last hour or so of the four hours it takes for treatment. When the last drop of chemo entered my IV line, I had a vision of clouds parting with the sun shining through, and Handel’s Messiah - ‘Hallelujah’’ playing in my mind. Can you see and hear it, too? I did not get teary-eyed emotional after chemo, I just felt joy at not needing to do that again! As you can see in the photo, I watched with gleeful anticipation as the bottle emptied and the last drop of chemo made it's way through the IV line and into the port in the right side of my chest.

My day ended with a visit with the surgeon, Dr. Connor. She said I would only need to stay in the hospital for one or two nights depending on pain management. She thought I might only need one night since I am relatively healthy and tolerated chemo well. Before I go to surgery on October 2, I report to the nuclear medicine unit at 6:30 am for the radioactive dye that will help the surgeon locate my sentinel node. That is the lymph node to which the breast tissue lymph drains first. So, if any cancer is found in the first node, the surgeon will then progress to other nodes until they find clean nodes. I am first on the list that day so hopefully things should go according to schedule for the three hour surgery. Dr. Connor is a ‘get to the point’ person whom I really like. Of course, Nancy had her notebook full of questions for Dr. Connor. When Nancy asked her if there was anything unusual that could happen, Dr. Connor looked a little bewildered at Nancy. So to break the ice, I said maybe Nancy is concerned that I could fall off the table. Dr. Connor broke out in a big laugh and said that would be a first!! The day ended with Ruth, Dr. Connor’s wonderful nurse, as she filled in all the details of the surgery day. Ruth is so funny and was willing to stay as long as needed to make sure all of our questions were answered. We did not leave the appointment until 5:45 and Ruth did NOT seem impatient with us at all.

Needless to say, today was a roller coaster of emotions for me. I cried on the way home as I thought about all the people who have been impacted by this disease – not only those who have cancer, but also the caregivers and family and friends of cancer patients. I want to give a big ‘shout out’ to all who have been caregivers or supported someone with cancer. The love and support of my family and friends has been so important to me and I know that other cancer patients feel the same way. I want the Ta Ta to the Ta Ta’s party on September 23 to reflect the tremendous role that caregivers play for cancer patients. If you are one of those wonderful people who has supported or is currently supporting someone with cancer, please know that your efforts are so important to your loved one. Thank you to all who have shared your love and compassion with cancer patients.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Photo of the Day - My nephews Joey and Matt

I guess I should have a contest for the best caption for these two pictures that I took last Sunday at my sister Susan's farm. Joey seems to be enjoying his role as older brother while Matt readies the combine for milo harvest.

Class and Chemotherapy

Today I visited one of the two classes I was scheduled to teach this semester and it was an extremely rewarding experience. My substitute this semester, Ben Hopper, was gracious enough to let me talk with the students about my cancer experience and the leadership lessons I have learned. The students asked lots of questions and I ended up talking with them for the whole class period from 1:05 to 2:20. Of course, it reinforced my love of teaching at K-State!! I do miss the classroom and I am especially disappointed about the 80 students who I will not get to know personally this semester. Hopefully I will be able to return to teaching in the Spring semester.

Thursday marks my LAST CHEMOTHERAPY!! Can you hear/see the jubilation in my words? Actually, I am not focused so much on the fact that this is my last chemo as I am that I get to meet with the surgeon for my pre-surgery appointment. As I stated in my last entry, I am really focused on the surgery at this point because it might be the end of my cancer journey. Now that I think about that last statement (and I have been thinking about it for a few minutes), I know it isn’t true because I will have to take an anti-estrogen drug (hormonal therapy) for five years because my cancer is estrogen positive. Hormonal therapy blocks the ability of the hormone estrogen to turn on and stimulate the growth of breast cancer cells.

So, why am I thinking so much about surgery? The answer – because I am so ready to be rid of these bad-behaving breasts! Actually, I think it has to do with getting the cancer out of my body. When I was first diagnosed, my initial response was to have surgery and rid my body of the cancer. After visiting with my oncologist and surgeon, I decided to do the chemotherapy first as a neo-adjuvant treatment instead of surgery first. That decision caused some emotional distress for me about half way through treatment because I was extremely afraid that the cancer was spreading to other parts of my body. In fact, I had several sleepless nights because I was second-guessing my treatment decisions. So, I think the fact that I can now focus on surgery has redirected my energy from thinking about the cancer metastasizing.

Metastasis – that is the real scare about having breast cancer. The fact that I have cancer cells in my breast is not life threatening in itself. But, if the cancer spreads to my liver or lungs or brain or bones, then it becomes life threatening. Wow, this writing session has provided me with another lesson about this whole experience! I also think that surgery is a tangible treatment, I will be able to see the results. And surgery seems like a tough treatment that equals the threat of cancer. Even though chemo has made me sick and I have seen the shrinking cancer mass on the ultrasounds, I still see it as a less ‘tough’ treatment. That is a crazy idea when I think about how many side effects that I have had because of chemo!

Don’t forget to mark your calendar for Sunday, September 23, for the party.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Photo of the Day -Diane, Nancy, and Sharon in Aggieville

Diane Larson-Floersch and I have been friends since our teaching days in Logan and Prairie View in the mid 1980's. We have maintained our friendship by celebrating our K-State connection. We sit together at football games and have watched lots of men's and women's basketball games in Bramlage. So, it was just natural that we had our photo taken in front of the football office.

So Many Dates to Remember

September 13 – My last chemotherapy!! I can’t seem to find words that appropriately convey my joy in knowing I will be finished with chemo on September 13. It has been a long and sometimes difficult journey since I started on June 5. Overall, I have tolerated the drugs fairly well, but I have noticed that my body is starting to show signs from the harsh chemotherapy drugs. My eyes are a bit sunken and are surrounded by brown circles. I could write about the changes to my body for three or four paragraphs, but I won’t dwell on them because I want to focus on the positives. I am still an extremely healthy chemo patient and I want to stay that way.

September 13 is also an important date because in addition to the last chemo, I will also visit with my surgeon for the pre-op appointment. I met with Dr Connor when I was initially diagnosed and she was in agreement with Dr Sharma that I should wait until after chemo to have my surgery. Anyway, I will have more information about the surgery – I am anxious to learn details about the surgery.

September 23 – Goodbye Bad-Behaving Breasts Party. Mark your calendars now for Sunday, September 23, to celebrate the end of chemo and the transition to the next phase of this journey. It has been my goal to embrace life and not let cancer take the fun out of it. This party is to do just that – to tell cancer that you can not take the joy out of my life!! I also want to do something special for all of my friends and family who are also battling this disease. I am not sure what that will be, but I want to honor others – survivors, those enduring treatment now, and those who have lost their lives to cancer. So, please come with the idea of celebrating, not just to say goodbye to my ta ta’s, but also to celebrate the lives of our special family and friends. It just seems to me that too many people are battling cancer…..

October 2 – Surgery Day at KU Med. I don’t know too many details about the surgery at this time, but I do know that I will have the sentinel node biopsy to check the status of lymph nodes during the bilateral mastectomy. If all goes well, I won’t have too many nodes removed – or none at all – and I won’t have to have radiation after surgery. Of course, all of that will be dependent on what is found during surgery.

Love to all,
Mary Kay

Photo of the Day - my grand-niece, Natalie Brenneman, ready to watch the K-State football game