My speech from the Ta Ta to the Ta Ta's party

'Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance.' My sisters, Debbie and Susan, gave me a wall hanging with this saying on it. This message is just what I had in mind for the Ta Ta to the Ta Ta's party. Thanks sisters for understanding me and giving me just what I needed - isn't it amazing how they have a way of doing that.

I am posting the little speech I gave at the party on Sunday. Of course, this is not exactly how the words came out - I embellished and spoke from the heart at the party, but this how I wrote the words on paper.

Love, Laughter, and Living
A couple of days ago I showed my nephew Kevin Thielen the invitation to this party and he said “A few years ago the idea of this party would have bothered me and embarrassed me, but not any more.” Well, Kevin, a few months ago I would have never dreamed that I would be at MY OWN TaTa to the Ta Ta’s party. But, here we are today at a party that on the surface seems to be about saying goodbye to my breasts. The truth is that this party is not about my breasts – this party is about looking squarely at cancer and saying I will not let you take the LOVE and LAUGHTER out of my LIFE. So, my friends, I say this party is about the three L’s - Love, Laughter and Living.

Loving – Wow, I don’t know if there could have ever been a stronger way for me to learn how much I am loved than to get cancer. I can’t tell you how many life lessons cancer has taught me, but the most important is about LOVE. The love and support that I have received during my cancer journey has been overwhelming at times and it certainly has given me extra motivation to fight this disease when my spirits have been low. I want to give a special ‘shout out’ to all of you who are serving as a cancer patient’s ‘support team’ or care giver. I know there are several of us here right now who are giving their loved ones the needed support and love to make it through treatment. To you I say thank you.

Laughter – I don’t think I need to say too much about laughter, after all I am having a TaTa to the TaTa’s party. It is my way to say to cancer Ha Ha or Na Na na na na. You can take my breasts, but I am going to have fun while you do it. I come from a family and a work group who celebrates everything so having a party really isn’t too unusual for either group – it is just the reason that is a little unusual. I am not really bothered by losing my breasts – I am sure there must be a few advantages to it just like there have been a few advantages to losing my hair. I saved money on things like shampoo and conditioner, I saved time getting ready in the morning, and I certainly have learned a lot about myself. To the ladies in this room, if you want to expose a little of your soul and learn something about yourself, just shave your head and go to the Mall – by yourself. I guarantee you that all of your insecurities will be exposed. So, what might be the advantages to not having breasts? My golf swing will improve without these in the way!!

Living – I am not talking about living as in a long life span. I am talking about actually LIVING with a capital L. LIVING a succulent and meaningful life while battling this disease. I think my brother-in-law Joe was such a great example of how to LIVE with a capital L. I want to share a story with you that inspires me each time I think about it. It was a couple of days after Christmas in 2005 and my sister Susan and I were taking Joe to the doctor. I can still remember driving out of the driveway of their farm that winter day and I knew it would be the last time for Joe because the disease had wrecked havoc on his body. In my heart I knew he would not be coming home again because he was so sick. He probably knew it, too. Anyway at the doctor’s office, the physician’s assistant told Joe that he needed to be in the hospital. I can still remember the look on his face when she said that –he looked at her as if he was a little shocked and offended and he said he just had too much to do to be in the hospital. It was at that moment that I learned a lesson about LIVING from a man who was just a couple of days away from dying. He refused to let cancer win, he was still living his life. It was also at that moment that I understood the meaning of the quote from Jim Valvano the former basketball coach from North Carolina State and the namesake of the Jimmy V Foundation. Jim Valvano said “Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul.” Even when Joe was hours away from his death, he did not let cancer take his soul.

That is what this party is about. Cancer can take my breasts, but just like Joe Thielen and Jim Valvano, it can not take my spirit and I don’t want it to take the spirit of anyone else here today. Thank you for being here to help me LOVE and to LAUGH, and to LIVE with a capital L.

Love to all,
Mary Kay