It's a Hair Thing

My hair is supposed to fall out between days 14 and 21 (June 19 and 26) of chemotherapy - and the thought of it is starting to bother me a little. I am not really worried about being bald, in fact, I have always wanted to shave my head for the fun of it. My friends who have done that say it is freeing and I have been tempted to do it a couple of times. I do wonder what my head shape will be.... The thing that bothers me about having a bald head is that people will notice me in a way that hasn't happened to this point in my journey. I can still HIDE the fact that I have cancer. You can't look at me now and assume that I am sick. When the hair goes, that will all change. I know people will stare and wonder why I have no hair. (I know because I have done it to others. Haven't you?) Is she sick? Does she have cancer? Did she shave it for freedom? What crazy group does she belong to? Did it turn gray? Does she have male-pattern baldness? Is she sick of spending so much time on her hair each day? There are so many questions and thoughts that go through our minds when we see someone who is bald WHO WE EXPECTED TO HAVE HAIR.

It is not that I am trying to hide that I have cancer - I am writing this blog for all to read. Ok, I just figured it out. We don't know how to treat each other when we experience DIFFERENCE in our lives. I will be different when my hair falls out. My cancer will become more REAL to me and others when that happens. It will be somewhat like 'coming out' with cancer. When I walk Kramer next week with a bald head and see the same neighbors that I see each day, they will look at me differently. I will then have to say to them - yes, I have lost my hair because this dog is so bad and he has caused me so much grief that my hair fell out!!

On the flip side of the issue, there must be some good to being cancer bald. Will people let me 'cut in line' at the grocery store? Will friends buy my lunch more often? (hint, hint) Will my sisters be nicer to me? I will definitely save on shampoo, conditioner, and hair cuts. Any other ideas on the good side of cancer bald?

I know I will be fine with no hair, in fact, I am looking forward to my first foray in public with a bald head. I always tell my students that we must find our courage muscle and exercise it on a daily basis. Gotta go now, I have a little exercising to do.

Love to all,
Mary Kay